3rd (Hate) Mail Call

We've broken new attendance records this last month at Cafe Drake and probably violated fire safety laws for overcrowding! Enormous thanks to all the friends and family (of course) who continue to show their support; also, immense gratitude to the ever-expanding "virtual family" of our website. It remains humbling and gratifying to receive such kind words from around the globe - we may have never met in person but feel like we know all of you.

Having had that Ecstasy peak and coming down just a little, Cafe Drake will oh so briefly turn our attention to the rare birds bearing poison in bitter beaks. We try hard to do this but once a year so here goes our annual response to the souls unhappy with our site. No angry feelings really, and as proof we always withhold email addresses or full names (rarely offered actually in hate mail). Hopefully we can salve some old wounds and make nice with our detractors. Don't bother yourselves with wondering the reason behind hateful emails; it seems to be a common practice across the internet. Cafe Drake will respond with Love. Tough Love.

. . . Cafe Dork is a futile exercise in wish fulfillment. I don't believe you can cook at all or that the photographs from dinners are even real. Everyone looks like they just want to go home and not have to pretend they're at a dinner party which would be awful if you served the crap you talk about like you know anything. I use your webpage as a joke to laugh at how bored some people are . . . sad to think the best you can come up with living in New York City is a list of gross menus and visits to lame restaurants . . . I'm losing my sense of humor.

- Greg: Boise, Idaho

Dear Greg,

Personal pride - albeit wounded by your vicious diatribe - aside, let us assure you that every recipe on Cafe Drake has been prepared in this kitchen and most often tested on guests (perhaps unhappy ones, who can know for sure?). Most are creations either based upon inspirations drawn from elsewhere or just concoctions of favorite ingredients and flavor profiles. We try to estimate measurements to the best of our ability but are not absolutely precise; we expect visitors will tweak specifics according to their personal tastes.

Glad however that we have in the past provided a source of amusement for your cruel "sense of humor". If nothing else we aim to please here and hope you'll return for whatever perverse pleasures you take from visiting a website so pointless in your estimation.

[this one gets copied in its entirety]

Dear Cafe. Is that your first name? Don't think so, sir - ha. I'm writing again b/c this blog has been wrong about so many things more and more recently. You never wrote back when I said things were worse two or three times. When I visit NY Nov 15-19 I'm not going to any of the restaurants you like b/c I dont think you care abt real food but concerned instead with what the place looks like and what the food looks like. Not how it tastes. I made recent [sic- Ed.] your cheese bread pudding and it was really good but I did not serve it on special plates or make a big deal or play weird music. You don't know what is important anymore and I'll maybe miss some good dishes b/c your site is too irritating to visit and you don't take criticism or even try to change.

- Rex (no physical address/location mentioned or detectable)

Dear Rex, Is that YOUR first name? If so it's quite dashing and conjures up images of a gentleman far more sophisticated than your inelegant writing style indicates. Sorry we haven't responded in the past but it's not our first inclination when insulted by a stranger's email. In case you missed a Ritalin dose today, we'll break down yr confused message in ADD-friendly, numbered answers:

1. No, the first name is not Cafe.
   
2. Why "ha"? You weren't funny.


3. Already dealt with reasons for not emailing you back (see above).


4. Restaurant reviews are all absurdly subjective, no matter how "qualified" or esteemed the critic. Cafe Drake offers only personal opinions based on our tastes, preferences and capricious nature. It is important to us that food be presented attractively; it is generally understood within the dining universe that plating is a vital skill all chefs must possess. Decor and pleasant ambiance also add immeasurably to the culinary experience. An attractive waitstaff is a plus. Having said that if you read many of our reviews you'll find we often happily dine at no-frills establishments that compensate for certain shortages with creative/unique/exotic/delicious cuisine. It is so often not a matter of nearly exclusive pricing but effort that elevates many restaurants to great peaks.


5. Delighted that the Feta and Tomato Bread Pudding worked well for you. Really, over the moon.


6. We hope you'll come back for more recipes and menus, Rex, given your success with (assumed) several in the past. Best of luck and all well wishes. Honestly, you don't seem like a mean person at heart.